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| I was browsing facebook, and for some reason this act spawned the strange narrative that follows. Since this could potentially get annoying for me later, i will clarify for the sake of the worrisome and/or stupid that yes, i am fine, i just thought this was an interesting line of thought  .
People are afraid or unable to see past the surface of things. This applies to most things in life, but most specifically to other people. We get so hung up on outward appearance, first impressions, and pre-conceptions and biases that without a great deal of effort (effort that nobody is willing to take with every person they meet or even with many they already know), we will never be able to see anything but the most shallow aspects of a person. This leaves three options available to people. One, do nothing and live a life of acquaintances, simple conversation, and complete and utter falsehood. Two, hope for someone to find you and 'break you out of your shell', thus requiring no work on the part of the person on the receiving end, who is too afraid to act because they fear what others will think or do; they desire to be free of the silence and shallow nature of their lives, but are cowed by the preconceptions they hold of those they want to approach (oh, the irony). Lastly, there are those who are willing to expose themselves to the world and let others see who they really are; they bare their hearts for all eyes to see. The problem with that is to do this is to leave a bloody gaping wound in the process and to hope that your actions are not in vain; worse, there is always the risk that by doing so you have sentenced yourself to the realization that nobody actually cares.
Moral of the story? Suck it up, emo kids. (and grow a pair.)
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| Wow, it has been an incredibly long time since i have posted anything
in here. Since a lot of people have been asking me how UCI is
going, i figured i might as well enlighten them. UCI is pretty
kickass; chem is hard, and classes will always be classes, but im
living in a fun dorm with fun people, and having the time of my
life. Doesnt change the fact that it sucks being so far away from
so many of my best friends, so all you people best be free on the
vacations.
On a side note, there was a fire alarm today (Not a drill). At
the time, i had just finished going on a jog and was in the shower, so
i proceeded to walk outside (not out of the shower, OUTSIDE) clothed
solely in my towel and dripping water/soap. Needless to say, my
dorm mates found it hilarious and stray eyes quickly turned my
way. Lesson of the day? Modesty is overrated...
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| Originally, I was gonna post about how I won the Bellarmine Senior beard contest, how I went to the beach on Thursday and the weather was great, and just how great vacation is…but no. There is no prize for winning the beard contest, which shouldn’t surprise me; all it means is that I paraded myself as a hairy freak for the school to marvel at: “look, there he is. Ooh, can I touch?” “note the creature in its natural habitat…notice its primitive behavior?” Yeah, great, I know I’m hairy, there is nothing I can about it, so fuck off. Beach was fun, but it was just an oasis in a sea of unpleasantness…Fuck. I’ve gotten pretty good at fooling myself into contentment (yes, contentment, not happiness), but even I have to call my bluff after so long. So before I get off on a million tangents, I’m gonna address an issue I saw in a friend’s xanga. This guy, Kevin, got cheated on by his gf (now ex-gf) and was just commenting on how nice guys finish last. Kevin, your close, but your still wrong. Nice guys don’t even make it to the race. They don’t cross the finish line at all. Nice guys are the support group, the people that girls go to when they are feeling bad about themselves and need an ego boost, or when their ass bf or troublesome families make them sad…nice guys are, by nature, nice and supportive, so they become popular very fast. Once the ego boost is finished, tho, they are ditched temporarily until the girl has another problem and needs another ego boost. Being a nice guy, the absence between the two trouble points is simply perceived as “being busy” and that the two are friends. Sorry, but nice guy is being tooled. Does this make it wrong to be a nice guy? No, just be sure to know the difference between a genuine friend and someone selfish who is out for their own ass. I’d like to think I’m a nice guy, but I think I have too much else inside going on to really qualify. So, Kevin, keep being a nice guy, and I wish u best of luck in finding a girl that treats you right. And no, I’m not just having a bad day, and I know I am not the first one to think these thoughts; I just felt the need to express it for once. As for any of you out there that are going to post comments like “Chris are you ok? What’s wrong? Do you wanna talk about it?” Don’t. They just piss me off.
-Happy Easter everyone. | | |
| Wow, this week has just been
getting progressively worse. First few days Ive been alternating
between general depression and periods of extreme rage...lol, sounds
like im a manic depressive this week. So much shit has been going wrong
this week. I thought today was gonna be different tho, cuz a huge
assignment i had due got postponed, and i played b-ball after school
with some friends. but then, the trend continued. I rear-ended a car on
880. And not just any car. I rear-ended a MUSTANG with my shitty 87
Civic. I merged into a lane, traffic in front stopped. i was going
about 40, and had a good 2 1/2 - 3 car lengths, so i guess probably
aroudn 30 feet (dunno how it converts). hit the brakes hard at the
beginning, but even at that distance with that speed, it couldnt stop,
and i hit the guy. thankfully, it wasnt a hard hit, and no damage was
visible, so hopefully there was no damage at all. needless to say, my
day and week has just gotten that much worse. I figure at the rate
things are going, im gonna be dead by friday in some inexplicably
impossible act of cruel fate | | |
| Wow, its been a really long time since ive posted lol...well, seeing how i just got back from the east coast, ill just pick things up now.
i went to north carolina/south carolina to look at colleges (UNC Chapel Hill in NC and Clemson in SC). Plane trip was nothing special, and there was a lot of driving to do over there so that was pretty boring. The fun didnt really begin until i actually got to the campuses. The first thing that struck me was that there were two types of people at the campus: black and white. Thats it. Lol. i mean, im not racist or nething, but im so used to seeing asians, indians, etc, that it was kind of a shock even though i was expecting it. for fun, i decided to count how many asians and middle east/indians i saw on campus. During the 6 hrs i was at UNC, i saw 17 asians and 17 indians, and at Clemson i saw 11 Asians and 10 indians. note: this was during 6 HOURS of walking around the campus haha. neways, back to the schools...
UNC was pretty cool; not sure bout the recreation around there tho, cuz i like hiking and stuff like that, and there is a lack of nearby mountains . Itd be nice if i get a scholarship there, but since only 700 out-of-staters are accepted, i probably cant go neways.
Clemson...has an even smaller town than UNC haha. its a little village, and thats it. nothing else for another 45+ drive, so if i went a car is a necessity. but on the plus, they got mountains and such relatively close . Prob the funniest thing about Clemson visit was the fact that everyone i saw kept STARING at me, and i was just thinking to myself "something on my face? my fly down? forget my pants?" etc, etc, when i realized that there was something on my face: MY BEARD. since im growing it out for sr. beard contest, its a bit extensive now, and that plus my long hair was apparently freaking out these southern folks. oh well, it was fun to mess with them haha. neways, im back home now, and im totally jetlagged. in terms of west coast time, i woke up at 3 AM this morning, so im gonna hit the sack.
P.S...on a side note, Devil May Cry 3 comes out in 5 days!! but it costs 50 dollars... either need money, or need a price reduction...but it looks glorious | | |
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